Always bring your shovel if you want to go to work

I love working in the Deli. I’m yet to show up for work in the full of my capacities but nobodies seemed to notice it and the shift sandwich system is pretty relaxed so I can probably start getting breakfast lunch and dinner there for free-result! Its also provided conversations like this:

X: Hey man, whats your name?

Me: Rua

X: Rua? Man, I ain’t never heard a name like that before. Thats pretty crazy

Me: whats your name?

X: Julius

Me: fuck off

(and banter did ensue)

I have however noticed that everyone who’s been working there for more than a few months is a fat fuck. I’m a fat fuck too though so its ok. I vividly remember the first time I finished an American portion, a full three and a half weeks after I arrived. I was so proud of myself, it was a real milestone. Then I looked down and realised that there was a lot more of myself there than when I left Dublin….meh, just means I’m harder to kidnap

Regulars

Yes, I’m filled with spite and a hypocrite who’s been drinking for 4 days straight

Regulars

Pubs and clubs frequented by thugs looking for cheap tugs.

Pug fugly mugs, murky eyes and exposed jugs in a misty smoke,

.

A quick toke before you batter some bloke with your;

bladder sack six pack,

pissing sit ups from lager and hic-ups

.

I know, I know,

“if we weren’t here it wouldn’t be our local”

you’ve bought shares in repetition,

blabbering blind drunken repetition

I do witty ye?

My mate from home sent me a text saying ‘Yo, whats up?’…..I wrote back: “yer ma’s dick!”

I am sooo cool

33 Drafts?

I am in the habit of writing down ideas(good and bad) in a notebook and in the absence of a notebook I save them as drafts in my phone. Most of the ones in the phone are from events that I don’t quite remember and made it in there out of a drunken lazyness and lack of faith in my own handwriting. I decided to clear them out today and transfer the lot to the notebook, most of it is waffle but there were a few gems including:

“of all the fools in de kings sala(d), you’re the only tomato!”

“There’s no such thing as peace talks, nobody needs to talk during peace time”

“I comes here to forget all my woes and drink till I KOs”

and my offering to DIT news whats ‘hot and whats not’ section-rejected, of course
“Not hot, 20% rise in the price of cocaine since Katie kicked it”