We were having a bit of a session in the house last night when I looked around and realised that of the 8 people in the room, I was the only lad. Then I remembered that I had been in Chinatown all afternoon shopping*……… and actually bought something! Yes, yes, I now own a man-bag with a picture of Mao on it. I bought it in the Chinatown equivelant of the Blarney Woolen Mills and am paranoid that Chinese people find it deeply offensive. Further evidence of my increasing feminin….feminen…femininin…..femininity** comes in the form of my bizzarre compulsion to describe the bleedin’thing!
Its green, more of a satchel than a……..NO! Fuck off!
What in the name bejaysus is going on? At what point did buying a bag become the main event of my day?And at what point did I start using words like jaysus, bejaysus, bleedin, batter burger, motte and straightner? I think I’m subconsciously balancing out my crippling insecurity about becoming a big girls blouse by speaking like the hardest thing I know: aul fellas in Dublin with no front teeth!
I said ‘mad out of it’ the other day with absolutely no sense of irony. I think I’m gonna develope a really thick Dublin accent over here, go home, shave my head and start trying to re-balance it out by drinking ‘heino’ and saying ‘roysh’(shudder).
Ah jaysus bosco, amn’t i terrible Inse Chóir (insecure). Look a’me new bag, or I’ll bate de bollox off ye, fuckin’cunt!***
*Rua walks aimlessly around shops killing time with knowing nods to other tag-alongs while the Coy, Banksy2 and Laneways play with shiny things and complain about spending too much. Rua hates shops, if it were up to him all shops would sell but one item so you knew exactly where to go and could spend as little time as possible there.
**jesus, thats hard to spell
***thats actually a direct quote from ’sum bord on de tortee-in’
5 responses so far ↓
Rosie // July 26, 2008 at 9:54 am
i look forward to plaiting one another’s hair on your return.
also, have you seen this? i might finally score at the electric picnic!
Rua MacTírean // July 26, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I was actually thinking of trying a side fringe but I’m………no….fuck off!
Wooh-electric gaeilteacht! Rossa you old rógaire you
miss // July 27, 2008 at 8:10 am
Why don’t you write a novel? You are by far more interesting in your head than can possibly in person. And that is not meant to be an insult, strangely. More a request, in this forum to share, MORE.
miss // July 27, 2008 at 8:16 am
Me, again. Left out the “be” as in , in person. I am intrigued. Need to know more. I like the way you write. It’s forceful and irreverant. Came upon your site by accident. Bravado is rare.
Rua MacTírean // July 27, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Bravado is almost always a bluff, the world is always more interesting in person and I’m not writing a novel because I’m only twenty years old and petrified of the commitment
But, again, thanks for being so nice
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