I wanna go to Japan, it’ll be awesome like Chuck Norris fighting commies on the moon and as ridiculous as a Steven Segal in a sensitive French melodrama!!! I can get a job in an Irish pub with a one word CV: GINGER!
Seriously though, it’d be mental(not unlike watching a chipmunk on E((trust me, those things can move!))). I’m nearly out of similes and metaphores just describing the place, and I haven’t even started describing the place-why? Because I know nothing about it!
The sum total of my Japanese related knowledge is thus; 1) Nintendo/Playstation/Donkey Kong and nerds all originate in Japan 2)You can now buy a ’shag-bot’ for a very reasonable price or rent one for less than 100e[why anyone would want one elludes me though] 3) Japanese girls, I don’t know any=they don’t know me=clean slate=result! 4)Beach culture, apparently 5) Peace and serenity are quite popular which would make a nice change from the wanton debauchery and purple haze I’m used to 6) eh….sushi? 7) Japan is a small peninsula in Asia that once conquered China-big up the wee fella!!! 8 ) Apparently theres an interest in the Irish language over there[which frankly makes the place seem even more ridiculous] 9) the fact that its seemingly an all round bonkers type of country is worthy of a point 10) I’ll stand out there so much more than I did last time I went to Galway[apperently my ginger forefathers really got around on the Wesern seaboard].
There, 10 solid things I know are definately undeniably true about Japan(kinda) before even mentioning my proposed pilgrimage to Saipan(although that may be in South Korea and a bit of a dissapointment).
Heres a few things I don’t know: 1) Where in the name of bejaysus I’m supposed to apply for a fucking J1 2) Why don’t USIT give me any useful fucking information 3) Why are USIT a pack of useless wankers whos websites sole purpose is to clog up googles search engine and really really piss me off! 4) Who pays USITs wages? If I find out that thats where my emergency tax went there’ll be ‘morda’! 5) How did I get home on Friday?
I hope nobody finds this useful………..wha? sssssssssssssssssssap!
